Natural Fake

Finally, Andrew Sullivan’s lacuna in the world of blogging yesterday has an answer.

naturalfake’s Broadway correspondent tells us that yesterday Sully, as his friends like to call him, signed a deal to have his musical, UTERUS!, produced on Broadway.

Apparently, the negotiations were rather convoluted as Sully has used the music from Lerner and Loewe’s Broadway smash hit, CAMELOT.

As Sully’s agent, Morris “Morrie” Goldclaxton, explains, “UTERUS! is the story of Sully’s valiant yet nuanced attempts to get to the truth about Sarah Palin’s uterus and the birth of Trig Palin. He’d get so close to the truth then it would just slip away like the Holy Grail. Sully felt that the music of Lerner and Loewe’s CAMELOT resonated perfectly with the story of his quest.”

naturalfake is proud to reveal an exclusive first look at Sully’s lyrics for “UTERUS!”.

Please enjoy:

UTERUS!
(sung to the tune of Lerner and Loewe’s Camelot)

SULLY:

The truth! The truth! My research made it clear
I’ll get the proof if it takes all the year.

I’ve studied Mother Nature’s love arts
And anus is analogous to puss
Yet some magic’s missing from my colon, thart’s
In Uterus!
Uterus! Uterus!
I know it sounds a bit bizarre,
But in Uterus, Uterus
That’s how conditions are.
They say a baby gestates all of nine months
Could not a bitch repregnant in month five?
In short, it makes me curse
My ‘roid rage much much worse
To contemplate the mysteries of Pa-
Lin’s Uterus!

Well, I don’t know about you. But I’m buying advance tickets for UTERUS! today.

UPDATE: Danger!

A bold, new team of Russian environmentalists has developed a “Super Green” lifestyle that actually results in a net negative carbon footprint for it’s participants.

“”We’ve got to stop global warming. So, we thought outside the box. And the amazing thing is, It’s so easy. Literally, anyone in any country can do it.” said the team leader when the astonishing results of their lifestyle were first revealed.

The team leader then complimented Al Gore and others as the “giants whose shoulders they stood upon”.

We’ll be following this vitally important story closely as more information becomes available.

Thanks to naturalfake’s close friendship with Director James Cameron, we’ve been given the exclusive rights to show footage from the Final Battle in “AVATAR“.

Admittedly, it’s just a taste. But, I’m sure you’ll agree that every bit of the $500 million in special effects is there on the screen.

Enjoy!

Thank you, Mr Cameron! Thank you for restoring my faith in the cinematic art!

As all Americans know, by long-standing tradition, the President never bows to foreign dignitaries. Yet, on more than one occasion President Obama has been photographed allegedly bowing to foreign kings and/or leaders. The latest example occurred in Japan yesterday.

President Obama photographed hiding his rare P.E.N.E.S. condition

Predictably, the vast right wing media, Fox News, and the Republican Party are castigating the President for this alleged breach of Presidential etiquette.

To stem the growing controversy, President Obama’s top secret personal physician, Dr Scott “Scottie” MacManfred, has revealed, in an exclusive interview with naturalfake, that the President is the victim of a rare medical condition.

As Dr MacManfred explains “President Obama suffers from a very rare disorder known as Phallus erectus nervousum emperorus submissiria or P.E.N.E.S. for short. In other words, in the presence of “kings” or what you might call “alpha males” he gets nervous then excited with the resulting fully erect penis.”

“So, Dr MacManfred, President Obama has a boner for big shots?”

“See? That….that kind of mockery is just what the poor man hopes to avoid. It’s like getting an erection in church or when your walking to your table in the junior high school cafeteria. You sort of “hunch over” to hide the darn thing.”

“Sorry, that was thoughtless of me. I can see how this P.E.N.E.S. condition could be a real problem. Does this affect his ability to be President?”

“No…no, no, no. Not at all. It’s an isolated medical condition. It just that when President Obama shakes hands with an “alpha male” and feels their warm, soft, moist palms of their hands press against his, and he’s so close that he can smell the piquant, masterful musk just wafting off their bodies and he looks into…their…..eyes…..uhhhhh.”

“Are- Are you rubbing the…front of your pants?”

“Huh?. No. Uh, no, just wiping off some crumbs. Crackers for lunch. Crackers…….yeah.

Anyway, please let your readers know that President Obama isn’t “bowing” to foreign dignitaries. He’s simply “hunching over” to maintain the respect and dignity of the Office of the President of the United States of America!”

“Thank you, Dr MacManfred.”

Another attack of P.E.N.E.S. - Our prayers are with you, Mr President!

While our attempts to contact foreign heads of state to comment were generally rebuffed, President Sarkozy of France did state “Well, I did always wondered why he was always walking around all hunched over and bow-legged like an old man. I mean, I thought it had something to do with Carla, my wife. I’m used to seeing that…..but, well, if President Obama’s erections are really about me….I must say I’m flattered.”

Rebuilding American’s damaged reputation one leader at a time. Thank you, President Obama.

And I think I can safety speak for all Americans when I say “Keep hunching, Mr President. Just keep hunching.”

UPDATE: Leave Obama alone!!!!

WELCOME NEW VISITORS: Please look around and enjoy! You might start with fan favorites: Barack Obama’s Fairy Palace or Barack Obama: Our First, Giant, Flying, Fire-Breathing Turtle President

HAT TIP: HotAir

AMERICAN EXCLUSIVE!!!!…..MUST CREDIT NATURAFAKE!!!!…..AMERICAN EXCLUSIVE!!!!….MUST CREDIT NATURALFAKE!!!!

Yeah, it’s real.

THE HARD NEWS:

Today President Obama met today with Japanese Prime Minister Hatoyama. The two pledged close cooperation on a number of issues.

Recently, the Japanese IRS, the Kokuzeicho, discovered that Prime Minister Hatoyama, whose nickname is “Alien”, owes millions in unpaid taxes.

The Prime Minster’s excuse for the unpaid taxes is that he’s so rich and has so many holdings that he doesn’t know how rich he is or what holdings he actually has.

A substantial part of Prime Minister Hatoyama’s tax evading problems come from the fact that he has received a large amount of political donations from dead people.

COMMENTARY:

Perhaps President Obama and Prime Minister Hatoyama pledged close cooperation in dealing with the current infestations of zombie voters and undead political contributers in both Chicago and Japan.

Those who thought that the corruption and tax-evading hypocrisy of President Obama’s cabinet and political allies were unique features of the Democrat Party or Chicago politics need look no further than Japan.

The corruption, the idea that taxes or laws are for the little people are universal features of the left. As is, the irresponsible spending of taxpayer money.

PM Hatoyama is a political analog of President Obama. Being a member of the farther left, he has his own version of frivolous “stimulus” spending and other programs that will further damage the Japanese economy.

The lesson should be clear. In any country, in any culture, the further left you go the more you encounter the divine right of leadership.

Who knew that Marx was a royalist?

Basically, what the title says.

I know not everyone’s a commenter but hey, it helps me make this place better.

And I love the feedback and/or conversation.

So, come on!

Give it a try. Let me know what you think – good or bad.

Every comment goes through. Except for Russian spam.

The only downside right now is that the way things are set up, I have to approve all comments. I haven’t figured out how to change that yet. So, if I’m not at the computer it might not come up immediately. But go ahead comment, it will appear………….eventually.

Thanks.

Bailout Wars is the latest app craze for iPhone-owning lefties.

Why?

Well, you get to kill bankers! Bankers who are attempting to steal money from the White House!

This is what passes for top-notch entertainment on the left.

And yes, it’s just an app. But if the lame game play doesn’t bore you, the neutron star density of it’s stupid will permanently damage your brain.

Just watch the demo below and consider just how ignorant you have to be of well, everything to buy into the premise. Consider the mindset and political philosophy one needs to enjoy this game. This is truly only for Special Ed Marxists.

Behold!

Ooooh! Ooooh! Lookit me! Die, Evil Banker, die! I’m Barack Obama! I’m defending the White House’s money with my mighty powers!

Sure you are, Trotsky. Go eat your salisbury steak.

While we’re on the subject of Special Ed Marxists….

Here’s a guy that got things totally wrong as well- (more…)

A little known clause in the new Healthcare Reform Bill just passed by the House establishes a new IRS training center in San Francisco.

The purpose of the new training center is to help IRS trainees understand and implement the new tax laws and requirements imposed on the American public by the House Healthcare Bill.

Special sensitivity training will be given to those auditors dealing with the middle class, ie. those earning $250,000 or less.

IRS Trainee Demonstrates New, State-of-the-Art Training Device For Extraction of Taxes from the Middle Class

Following in the grand tradition of such Democrat politicians as Senator Robert Byrd, the new IRS training facility will be known as the: Nancy Pelosi National Healthcare Investment Training Center.

UPDATE: Extra training needed.

HAT TIP: Instapundit