President New Coke

It was a time of conflict in our nation.

Two great institutions fought for the approval of the American public.  Yet, neither seemed able to break the deadlock.  Neither seemed able to gain much more than fifty percent approval.  It was a war fought at and defined by the margins.  Those undecided, unpursuaded by either side, would swing first one way then the other.

Third parties? No one took them seriously. Their appeal was quirky. Their message frequently odd.

Would things, could things ever change?

Then, suddenly, into the fray stepped a an appealing African-American, a smiling man of color with a refreshing message of change and hope.

It was the dawning of a new age.

The Age of New Coke.

Just as Barak Obama would fascinate the American public twenty-three years later with his simple, vague, market-honed and focus grouped mantra of “Hope and Change”, so Bill Cosby charmed them with his delightful conviction that “Coke is it!”.

What was the “it!” that New Coke was?   Well, cousin, whatever “it!” you wished that New Coke was, that was the “it!” that “it!” was.

And so, secure in the knowledge that “Coke was it!” millions of soda drinkers put aside their old ways and prejudices and gave New Coke a try.

They sipped. They guzzled. They chugged. Then they proclaimed in one mighty voice “Eh, it’s okay”. And “I’ll give it a chance. I mean, I could probably get used to it” And “It’s…….good. Probably a good mixer. You know, with rum or something”. And “It’s different than old Coke. Not really what I expected, but hey, what’s done is done.”  And “It’s new!  I like it!”

But there was one group, a minority, a small loud-mouthed minority, who though they had been told over and over and over again that “Coke is it!”, believed, in fact that New Coke was not “it!”. At least, not the “it!” that they had been promised.

Worse, this noisy rabble refused to believe the Coca-Cola executives when they said that Old Coke was gone, kaput, fini.  Forever after, until the end of time, Coca-Cola drinkers could only buy and therefore must learn to love New Coke.   There was no going back to the old ways.

Yet, these consumer terrorists refused to concede defeat with good grace and polite manners. They organized protests. Noisy protests at which they poured gallons and gallons of delicious, ice cold New Coke onto the ground, where “It!” died a fizzy death in the hot sun of summer.

Worse, Coca-Cola executives, chemists, and other employees found themselves no longer treated with the same respect and good will they previously enjoyed.  These executives were confused by the rudeness and yes, even threats they now received.  Didn’t the cola drinking public know what was good for them?

Media reports treated the protesters as slightly loony. After all, who gets excited about a soft drink?

Yet, discontent grew as more and more people began to realize that New Coke wasn’t “it!”.  Traditional Coke was “it!”  They loved Traditional Coke.  The old Coke formula was “it!”.   They joined the fight to restore the beverage they so loved.

Three months after the introduction of New Coke, the Coca-Cola Company restored Old Coke to the shelves as “Coke Classic”.

Our long, national nightmare was over.   On the Senate floor, Senator David Pryor hailed the decision as a “meaningful moment in American history”.

However, New Coke didn’t vanish overnight. No, it died a prolonged, lingering death. The Coca-Cola Company tried ad campaign after ad campaign.  Bill Cosby bloodied by battle of consumer taste preference quit advertising for Coca-Cola due to damaged credibility.

Coca-Cola even brought in a flashy new spokesman to attract the youth of America.  Perhaps he could bring back those effervescent days of change and hope, when total market dominance seemed not a fading mirage but the real thing. Perhaps, he could bring back the cult of New Coke.

It was not to be.

Donald Keough, company president and chief operating officer of Coca-Cola wrote the epitaph for NewCoke when he said “There is a twist to this story which will please every humanist and will probably keep Harvard professors puzzled for years. The simple fact is that all the time and money and skill poured into consumer research on the new Coca-Cola could not measure or reveal the deep and abiding emotional attachment to original Coca-Cola felt by so many people.”

As a cautionary side note to those who would simply get out of the way while a rival makes a catastrophic mistake or make the minimal effort, Pepsi was never able to capitalize on the New Coke fiasco.

Pepsi chose an unappealing, crotchety, old grouch as it’s spokesman and, perhaps worse chose as it’s basic message: We’re not the other guys and we’re not changing. Ever.

Given the opportunity of a lifetime, Pepsi’s market share stayed flat.

The Cola Wars continue to this day.