Woman Inspiring Hope And Change Emerges As Primary Challenger To Obama For 2012 Democratic Party Nomination

Yesterday, a mystery woman took to the streets of Columbus, OH spreading a message of hope and change and free stuff.

Political analysts noted that by boldly adopting President Obama’s method of governance and sense of fiscal responsibility the mystery woman, Linda Brown, is attempting to undermine the President’s influence with Democratic voters.

AP reports:

Brown walked to a cash register and loudly announced she had won the lottery and would pay for each person’s merchandise up to $500, he said.
“Well, of course, people like to hear that,” Deakins said. “Apparently they were in line calling relatives who were not at the store and told them to come.”
People flooded the registers as cashiers began ringing up purchase after purchase, but Brown had not yet paid the bill, Deakins said. At least 500 people filled the aisles and another 1,000 were outside trying to get in, he said.
“She was telling people she won $1.5 million,” Deakins said. “But it ends up she didn’t win anything. She had no money to pay for anything.”

(bolding added)

Thus far, there are no reports to indicate that Linda Brown has started printing her own money or borrowing from her children and grandchildren to pay for her stimulus programs.

Even so, Brown’s efforts remain controversial even with her own family.

The White House is currently weighing it’s options against the plucky challenger.

UPDATE: IT’S ON!!!

UPDATE 2: THE WHITE HOUSE RESPONDS!