This Is What It Sounds Like When Gods Die

NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!
YEEEAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
LA-LA-LA I CAN’T HEAR YOU! LA-LA-LA I CAN’T HEAR YOU! LA-LA-LA-LA-LA
I DO BELIEVE! I DO BELIEVE! I DO BELIEVE! I DO BELIEVE! I DO BELIEVE!
YOU….YOU LIED TO ME! IT’S ALL A LIE!!!!! YOU LIED TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
CAST OUT THE UNBELIEVERS AND CLEAVE TO ME YOUR PRIEST!

Well, don’t worry. This fellow’s line of reasoning suggests you’ll be better off without all of your silly superstitions and absurd beliefs.

There, there. It’ll all be better soon…..

Still feeling blue? Aww……poor little feller, you still want to believe in global warming, don’t you?

Well, never let it be said that naturalfake is without sympathy for those is spiritual anguish!

Since there’s absolutely no longer any scientific reason for your belief in global warming, especially, anthropogenic global warming or as I like to call it man-made global warming, you’re free to believe it’s caused by anything you’d like.

May I suggest that instead of mankind as your villain for mythological global warming, you choose the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

He’s just as scientific as your previous beliefs and far more scary.

That's right, bitches! I cause global warming and get it on with naked men! What're you gonna do about it?

From now on, naturalfake will be your International Climate Research Center for FLYING-SPAGHETTI-MONSTEROCENTRIC GLOBAL WARMING.

We will soon be selling Spaghetti Trading Credits to Stop Flying-Spaghetti-Monsterocentric Global Warming.

Please do your part and buy them. Only you can stop FSMGW!

Do it for the children!

UPDATE: DON’T STOP BELIEVING!!!!

Relax, Dr Curry. Or rather, panic! We must stop Flying-Spaghetti-Monsterocentric Global Warming! Don’t be a denier! The science is settled!!!

UPDATE 2: YOU CAN’T MAKE ME LOOK!!! YOU! CAN’T! MAKE! ME! LOOK!

UPDATE 3: HIDE OUR SACRED SCROLLS!!! THAT THE UNBELIEVER MAY NOT SEE!!!

5 responses to “This Is What It Sounds Like When Gods Die

  1. Much as I am already a HUGE fan of the FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER, and want his (or is it her?) picture for my wallpaper, it’s important to remember there will always be people whose need to believe is greater than their capacity to learn or understand the truth. Those of us who love freedom must create our own heros, legends, and ideas as inspirations and guideposts in this dark and dangerous world.

    • Free is how God created us. That’s why you can chose your “heros, legends and other ideas and guideposts in this dark and dangerous world.” It is with sadness that I see so many people searching, always missing the guideposts which God gave us, the Holy Bible and the Ten Commandments. If you live within these guideposts, your freedom won’t need spaghetti wallpaper to be true. You don’t have to create your own heros, legends, and ideas as inspirations and guideposts in this dark and dangerous world. But you are free to do so. Faith in God will set you free from these. Read the Bible.

  2. THE SCIENCE IS SETTLED!!!!!!!!

  3. Pingback: naturalfake’s Ten Most Important Stories of 2009 « Natural Fake

  4. Pingback: Wanna See My Smilin’ Face On The Cover Of The Rolling Stone « Natural Fake

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