Early this morning, Special Envoy for the White House, Franklyn Von Herryngton-Smythe, took a top secret flight from Joint Base Andrews Naval Air Facility Washington to Port Au Prince, Haiti.
There naturalfake’s international correspondent was able to catch up with Mr Herryngton-Smythe for this exclusive interview:
Mr Herryngton-Smythe. naturalfake international. Would you mind telling our readers why you’ve come on this extraordinary mission to Port Au Prince, Haiti?
“Well, I probably shouldn’t, but…..okay. Sure. You’re going to have to walk with me, though. I’m on a tight schedule here.”
Thank you. Now, our sources tell us that you’ve come to Haiti to request emergency aid?
“That’s correct. In particular, I’m here to meet with Jean Pierre Hyppolite, the head of the looter gang, the Ton Ton Fromage.”
Why, Mr Hyppolite?
“Well, first we were impressed with his brazen looting of the emergency food house.
I mean when President Obama with the help of congressional Democrats looted the future earnings of America’s citiizens, their children, and grandchildren to the tune of $800 billion on a “stimulus bill” and all the other hundreds of billions of “bailouts” and “job creation” for cronies, bribes, and such. We thought we were pretty much the class of that game. You know what I mean?”
Uh…..yeah.
“So, you’ve got to think of scale. Here in earthquake-torn Haiti looting the food house? That’s like….like…looting hundreds of trillions of dollars from the public. That’s like…..wow!”
I see.
“And then, when the BBC is doing an interview with Mr Hyppolite and they ask him why he looted the food houses and he says,”"Never let a serious crisis go to waste. What I mean by that is it’s an opportunity to do things you couldn’t do before.”
Well! We knew he was a man who we could do business with. And a man who’s expertise we needed.”
How so?
“Massachusetts. Healthcare. It’s a crisis. And we keep running into little roadblocks like the law, the Constitution, the law, good citizenship, fair play, and the law.
Somehow the Ton Ton Fromage have found a method to work-around these.”
Really? And that would be….
“We’re not exactly sure. It’s something called a “Machete” We’re pretty sure it’ll prove a useful tool for the SEIU and ACORN.”
………..A-n-n-nd…..you…you don’t think the voters will object to that?
“The voters? Pffft. What do they matter?”
Well then, uh, thank you very much, Mr Herryngton-Smythe. This is naturalfake international signing off from Haiti.
