Obama Asks Tampa Mayor To Check For Head Lice

Yesterday, the White House narrowly avoided a public relations crisis by caused by this photo.

As you can see, the photo appears to show President Obama bowing to the Mayor Pam Iorio of Tampa, FL.

When asked by naturalfake if this was yet another example of the President bowing to hide his rare medical condition, White House spokesperson, Mandy Van Manmanderson, issued a flat denial.

“No, of course not, as you can see, Mayor Iorio is a woman…Oh, and he wasn’t asking about his bald spot either…uh, because….the President….doesn’t…have a bald spot. Yeah, no bald spot at all.”

Then what was the President doing? Does the Mayor wear really shiny shoes?

“…What? No-o…..no! The President was simply asking Mayor Iorio to check and see if he had head lice.”

Head lice?

“Oh my yes. The President has a terrible head lice problem.”

He does?

“Yes. He’s tried everything. Poor man. Shampoos, ointments, cutting his hair short. Nothing works. He might be having trouble with American public opinion right now but 100% of head lice absolutely love him.”

Really?

“My yes, the President is an total lice magnet. Why do you think the First Lady is always changing her hair style?”

Why?

“Well…I really shouldn’t be telling you this……but, okay.”

Ms Manmanderson leaned closer and whispered,

“Wigs.”

The First Lady wears a wig?

“She has to. Every few days the President gives her lice and she has to burn the wig. Her real hair is a bur cut. High and tight like a Marine. No wonder she looks so angry all the time!”

Well, that would explain a lot…

naturalfake caught up with the Presidential party at “Columbia”, a restaurant known for serving the finest Latin cuisine in Tampa.

President Obama sat at a table with Mayor Iorio and her husband.

Standing behind President Obama, White House Chief of Staff Raum Emanuel, fastidiously picked through the Presidential hair pinching off head lice with his fingers then crushing them between his teeth.

“I just love these little @%$^&!*%$# things! They’re so %$##@!*&^%@$ crunchy! They kind of taste like cilantro.”

Mayor Iorio ordered the Cuban classic dish boliche crillo, her husband, the ropa vieja, a house specialty. And, President Obama ordered a waffle.

White House Chief of Staff, Raum Emanuel, begged off saying, “Nothing for me. I’m stuffed. Those little &*$$#$@!#$%%##%^$ really fill you up!”