Bondage Duck Explains It All For You (Possibly NSFW)

One of the most positive developments to come out the Voyeur scandal has been the emergence of a new G.O.P. political action committee from an unlikely source.

The California S&M community!

Calling themselves “Latex Shorts Republicans”, they’ve come out of the Gimp Box, taken off their ball-gags and are ready to make a difference.

Now, in an exclusive interview with naturalfake former international S&M model, actor, and current president of, as well as chief spokesman for, the “Latex Shorts Republicans”, Bondage Duck, tells all about his new political action committee and their agenda.

Bondage Duck's Award Winning Portrayal Of The Late Great Bondage Goose in The Deliciousining

Welcome, Bondage Duck.

Hi, naturalfake it’s great to finally be here. I’ve been driving myself quackers with anticipation.

Heh….quackers….

Just thinking about you interrogating me…Oooh, it gives me a tingle up my pin feathers.

Well, you know, it’s not really an interrogation so much as it is an interview. So anyway…shall we begin?

Oh, no, no, no, dear boy! Why, this is all wrong. Make me wait. Let the sweet agony of dread and anticipation creep up upon me. Make me sweat. Let my imagination play so that when your tongue-lashing finally comes it is all the more severe and surprising.

Uhhhhh….we may have gotten off on the wrong foot here. This’s just an interview. An interview. I can safely say there’s no tongue-lashing involved…At. All….No tongue-lashing.

But……I’ve been a bad duck……a very bad duck…..

Yes, well….be that as it may….um, here’s a question. How did you, a duck, get involved with the whole S&M scene?

Ugh, you are no fun at all…..Fine. Why S&M? Are you at all familiar with duck sexuality, naturalfake?

No, not really. Kinky is it?

Dear boy, you simply have no idea! The things I could tell you! Well, like I said, I have been a bad duck…..a very bad duck…….mmm?…

Yeeeah…so, how did you become the spokesman, uh, spokesduck for the Latex Shorts Republicans?

AFLAC!

Excuse me?

Aflac. Everyone loves the Aflac duck. So, we, the Latex Shorts Republicans, thought we’d put our best foot forward so to speak. That would be me.

Makes sense. And exactly why are the Latex Shorts Republicans speaking up now? What’s your agenda? For instance, what are your plans for the Democrats?

We’re going to spank them. Oh, yes.

Heh…spank them. Of course, you mean “beat” them in the November elec-

Oh, no no no. I mean it quite literally, dear boy. We wish to spank the Democrats. Especially their leadership.

……You want……to spank them? Literally….

Quite so.

The President? You want to spank the President of the United States of America?

First and foremost. And, of course, he is the President so I have something very special in mind.

And that is…

Well, not to be telling secrets out of school, but…once I have him bent over the spanking horse- mink saddle, of course! Then I’ll bring out my multi-colored, scented bees wax candles and slowly, luxuriously drip hot wax on President Obama’s heiney.

…heiney…

Yes! His heiney will look quite festive, don’t you think? Like…like two chocolate donuts on edge, side-by-side with sprinkles!

And then for the spanking itself I have procured, at great expense to myself, from the year 1918 the razor strop of Vladimir Lenin’s barber. Quite apropos, eh?

….Really?….This is your agenda?…..You think…..I mean…..come on, the Secret Service alone isn’t going to let-

The Secret Service? Oh, posh and tosh, dear lad, this is all done out of love. They’ll be fine.

O-o-okay…Harry Reid? Him too?

Naturally. You wouldn’t think those pale white, pruney, bloodless, shriveled shanks could take a spanking, would you? But I shall pluck one soft feather from my breast.
….My breast feathers really are quite soft….Care to stroke them….?

Uhhh, no thank you.

Hmpf, your loss. So, I shall pluck one soft feather from my breast and tickle his bunghole. Oh, how he shall laugh and laugh! Tee hee hee, he’ll laugh. Just like a little school girl.

A school girl. Harry Reid. The Harry Reid?

Oh my, yes. Tee hee hee. Just like that. I know his type. It will be quite delightful. And when his cheeks are a nice shining apple red, I shall spank him with a simple ruler from Walmart.

Huh…sure why not? Nancy Pelosi?

You’ll have to get back with me on her. I haven’t quite figured things out. The ass cheek implants and botox do so dull the sensation.

Ass-cheek implants?

Dear boy, the duck knows. Believe me. The duck knows.

Well, if you say so…..Hillary Clinton?

I’d spank her. She’d need a ball-gag, of course.

Of course….

Look, I’ve got to tell you, this just seems…I mean, no offense and all but, like some frivolous fantas-

Frivolous? In what way? As I told you, this is done with love. We’re all of us, all the Latex Shorts Republicans are recovering Democrats.

Listen to Democrats they always talk about themselves and think of themselves as victims. Look at their actions and laws. It’s all about control. They feel out of control. Either personally and that’s why they don’t care about law or obey laws until caught like Geithner and his taxes. Or they feel the world around them is out of control.

But spanking them! Imagine it! Spanking them would make them think. Why am I here? Am I being punished? What did I do? Don’t you see? It’s the first step toward thinking about yourself as the active agent of your own life. You are responsible for your own life. Not the collective. You. Why are you here?

Eh….if you say so. I really don’t see this as a mainstream effort to say the least.

You disappoint me, dear boy….Perhaps, if you participated…..hmmm? I have been a bad duck….a very bad duck…..

Thanks but no thanks, Bondage Duck. I guess that pretty much wraps up-well, wait a minute, what about Democrats peripheral to the process…someone like say First Lady Michelle Obama.

QUACK! Q…q…..q…QUACK!

Oh my gosh! Bondage Duck! Bondage Duck, are you alright? Can you hear me?

Dear boy….She must not be named…for…for SHE is my personal Mt Everest. And I the Sir Edmund Hillary that yearns to spank Her. My God man, it’s like She’s grafted two baby hippos to her hind quarters!

Here….here look. I carry this picture of her everywhere I go. It’s torn from the “Latex Shorts Republican Fun Book of Facts”. Here. See for yourself.

Latex Shorts Republican Fun Fact #23: First Lady Michelle Obama is composed of 43% prime spanking booty both by body weight and body volume.


Ye-e-eah, well, thank you, Bondage Duck.
.
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UPDATE: “If no one among us is capable of governing himself, then who among us has the capacity to govern someone else?” — President Reagan, Jan. 20, 1981

Quite so, says Bondage Duck.

3 responses to “Bondage Duck Explains It All For You (Possibly NSFW)

  1. GO BONDAGE DUCK……….GO!!!! LMFAO

  2. A little known factoid, brought to mind by the enticing photo. The only reason that Mooshell married Hussein was that during his wild man years, he came up with exactly ONE original pickup line, and she was the only one swept away by the sheer novelty of his mastery of verbiage.
    the line :
    “Yo baby, is that all YOU in there, or did you take a dump in your Depends?”

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