Remember all those goldfish or turtles or lizards or frogs or perhaps even mice or hamsters you had for pets as a kid?
Remember what happened happened when little Goldie or Turkle went belly up?
Burial at sea, right?
Into the toilet and…Flush!
No muss, no fuss.
Now the same convenience and ease of disposal for is available for your deceased loved ones.
Bye, Grandma. Bye-bye. Thanks for all the cookies and cakes and stuff. Thanks for all the birthday money. I'll never forget you, Grandma! I'll think of you every time I crap....
Sound too good to be true?
Well, it’s not. Thanks to the good folks at Resomation Ltd.: (bolding mine)
A Glasgow-based company has installed its first commercial “alkaline hydrolysis” unit at a Florida funeral home.
The unit by Resomation Ltd is billed as a green alternative to cremation and works by dissolving the body in heated alkaline water……The installation was only made possible after the state legislature in Florida approved the use of the technology, one of seven US states in which the process has now been legalised.
The system works by submerging the body in a solution of water and potassium hydroxide which is pressurised to 10 atmospheres and heated to 180C for between two-and-a-half and three hours.
But, naturalfake, naturalfake, I hear you say- Sure, they’ve rendered Grandma down like an old used-up mule at a glue factory or, or a glob of fat at a soap factory, but they say nothing about flushing Grandma down the toilet. What about that, naturalfake? Huh? what about that?
To that I say, Read on: (bolding mine)
Body tissue is dissolved and the liquid poured into the municipal water system. Mr Sullivan, a biochemist by training, says tests have proven the effluent is sterile and contains no DNA, and poses no environmental risk.
Sounds like it’s the toilet for Granny to me.
Though I suppose, her portal to the Beyond could be the kitchen sink…
I used to hate my Mother-in-Law but Wow! Now, my dishes are sparkling clean. And she leaves my hands kissably soft. Thanks, Resomation!
Actually, now that I think about it, since Grandma’s been all broken down into a yummy, yummy broth of constituent amino acids and minerals perhaps this could be the first step for turning her into Soylent Green.
Yep, between the Obamacare Death Panels and converting those at the wrong end of the cost curve into a hot, nutritious soup, Soylent Green just might work!
Wheeeeee! We get to live inside a dystopian novel!
More prosaically though, I’m pretty sure this is a first step toward “green” human recycling into dog food, cat food, feedstock, plant food, or best of all-
We could recycle Grandma into Bio-diesel!
Just like old french fry grease.
The clue for this is in the name of the company/process: Resomation.
Re- means again or back. Soma means the entire body. -tion refers to a process.
Therefore, resomation means the process by which a body is brought back again.
Yay! It’ll be just like reincarnation. Only without the incarnation part.
Two final questions-
Why does it always seem that so-called “Green” technology, from lightbulbs to toilets to inefficient/insufficient energy production to converting our dead into an industrially useful sludge, always leads to a poorer life, a worse future, and a general downgrade of the importance of human life?
Could it be that the “Green’s” agenda is, at heart, anti-human?
Dear God in Heaven – this IS a deliberate assault against what Thomas referred to as the dignity of the human body; there can only be one source for such a degenerate and intentional movement. Only one spiritual inspiration for engineering such an open mockery of the human person in totality.
To Hell with them, one and all.