Mitty Mouse Wants To Run On Willard the Wolf’s Record or Government Mouse VS The Wolf of Wall Street

The problem with Mitt Romney is that he’s bi.

Bi-lycanthropic, that is.

When in the private sector, he transforms into Willard the Wolf of Wall Street, a lean mean creative destruction of capitalism machine.

His time and record of accomplishment at Bain prove that Willard the Wolf knows how to properly assess the value of a variety of businesses. He knows where to cut the fat and when to leave the muscle. He knows which assets are profitable and which make sense as a part of the corporation and which should be sold off.

Willard the Wolf of Wall Street has no problem closing unprofitable departments and firing unnecessary workers to make a company better and more competitive.

And the proof of his success is the vast amount of wealth which Willard the Wolf of Wall Street’s expertise has brought Mitt Romney.

Make no mistake, this is a good thing. The creative destruction of American capitalism has made us the greatest and wealthiest nation on Earth. Everyone benefits in the end.

The ability to size up a company, the ability to cut away unnecessary fat and leave a lean, highly competitive entity is a rare skill, indeed. And one that is especially needed once a new President takes office in 2013.

Barack Obama’s “gorge the beast” strategy has left the federal government a vast, bloated, gobbling, greedy hog ready for the carving knife.

Heck, forget carving knife. This beast is ready for the meat axe.

Looking at Willard the Wolf of Wall Street’s record, Mitt Romney would seem to be the man of the hour.

Except-

Except, except , except-

Whenever Mitt Romney enters the public sector, he instantly transforms into Mitty Mouse.

That’s right. That daring, decisive, analytical brainiac- Willard the Wolf of Wall Street -shrinks, shrivels, and transmogrifies into an itty-bitty, teeny-weeny, yellow squeaking mouse. A mouse who’s works and goals are defined by Democrat Fat Cats.

Mitty Mouse amongst the Democrat Fat Cats

As Governor of Massachusetts, Mitty Mouse’s “triumphs” can only be described as Democrat victories.

Romneycare, which served as the blueprint for Obamacare, expanded the scope and reach of government, took and is currently taking evermore more of the tax paying Massachusoid’s disposable income, reduced the scope of care, stole freedom of choice from the citizens of Massachusetts, expanded the numbers of non-productive bureaucrats, and suddenly made whatever the individuals of Massachusetts choose to eat, drink, wear, drive, etc a concern of government bureaucrats.

Hardly, a triumph of conservative Republican principles. But, certainly a victory for Democrat Fat Cats and an excellent opportunity for them to fill the pockets of themselves and their cronies with graft abetted and aided by timid Mitty Mouse.

If Willard the Wolf of Wall Street had been presented with a plan like Romneycare, he would’ve howled with laughter. Then gotten busy reducing the cost of healthcare by reducing regulations, cutting unnecessary bureaucrats and taxes, increasing competition, allowing a variety of plans, and in general putting the free market to work.

Mitty Mouse? Romneycare seemed like a great idea to him…and tellingly, still does.

When Mitt Romney attempted to balance the state budget, you might be forgiven for thinking that here, at last, would Willard the Wolf of Wall Street finally show his teeth.

But sadly, no.

Sure, Mitty Mouse nibbled around the edges of government here and there but mostly he relied on large increases in fees and taxes.

Once again, Mitty Mouse chose to take money and freedom from the hard-working taxpayers of Massachusetts and give it to Democrat Fat Cats and their cronies.

So, now Mitt Romney is running for President of the United States of America.

Not surprisingly, he’s running on the record of Willard the Wolf of Wall Street and not the record of Mitty Mouse. Mitt Romney says he knows how to create jobs because he worked in the private sector, which is true.

The problem is, who’s going to show up on Inauguration Day?

Willard the Wolf of Wall Street or Mitty Mouse?

If history is any indicator, we’re in for 4-8 years of Mitty Mouse cowering before Democrat Fat Cats.

But, naturalfake, naturalfake, I hear you say, Mitt’s got a 59 point plan for when he’s President!

It’s a plan!

With 59 points!

Well, look, the number of points doesn’t impress me very much because Point #53 might just be to Eat a Peanut Butter and Baloney Sandwich the Second Tuesday of Every Month.

So, there’s that.

But, more to the point (heh!), as Ace explains in this post, a President usually only gets 3 or 4 major policy objectives accomplished during his first term. Which 3 or 4 points of the 59 are Romeny’s do or die priorities? Which 3 or 4 are his line in the sand?

He doesn’t tell us.

Further, while some of the points are pretty good, most are pure Mitty Mouse. Either too timid or filled with ambiguity and nebulous goals, ie. plenty of wiggle room.

Read them all at Mitt’s website to see for yourself, but here are a couple of examples.

Reduce federal workforce by 10 percent via attrition:

Attrition means retirement.

Mitty Mouse’s plan is to wait around until 10% of the federal workforce decides to retire.

Awesome! Maybe in 8 years or so that goal will be realized.

Willard the Wolf of Wall Street would recognize that the bulk of federal jobs simply involve money
transfer and paper shuffling. He would see a vast bureaucracy where the amount of productive work approaches zero, a vast bureaucracy inhabited by clerks, accountants, and low to middle level management- EXACTLY the group of people who have been replaced in the private sector by the computer.

Washington is still working on the 1850s model- the hand-to-hand-to-hand-to-hand, middle man-to-middle man-to-middle man model. It’s a wonder they aren’t still using ink wells and feathered quills.

A 50% cut in manpower for all federal agencies except the military could be be easily achieved. Along with pay, benefit, and grade cuts for those who remain.

Also, there is a vast number of agencies who’s functions are duplicated at the state level, the EPA is one of these, as is Education. These agencies can be either eliminated completely or significantly downsized and the power returned to the states under the 10th Amendment.

Further, there are federal agencies who have drifted so far from their mission that they actually damage the areas which they are supposed to encourage. Examples? Energy and Education.

And finally, there are plenty of federal jobs which can be done more cheaply by contracting to various private companies.

Willard the Wolf of Wall Street would also recognize that each and every Obama hire over the last four years represents a “poison pill” for any changes and plans President Romney wishes to pursue and would fire them instantly. He would also fire the entire management level of any department which seems to be working against the interests of the American people or the creation of jobs.

A plan of a 10% reduction in the federal workforce through retirement is intolerably timid and laughably weak.

Mitty Mouse is not worthy of the Presidency. However, a man with the strength to make the hard choices and cut jobs when necessary is, particularly at this time in our country’s history. That’s why I feel the Bain-centric attacks on Romney by Newt and Perry are way off base.

Cutting government’s power, cutting government spending, cutting government regulations all mean cutting government jobs. Newt and Perry(whom I both like by the way) are cutting their own throats if they make the issue of job cutting poisonous. Any Republican who wins will by necessity need to fire and demote government workers. Plain and simple.

Cap federal spending at 20 percent of GDP

Rick Perry believes he can cap federal spending at 18% and cut $5 trillion out of the federal budget over a period of 4 years. Seeing how Obama will have added about $6 trillion onto the budget by stealing money from the American taxpayer and giving it to cronies and unions that seems to be the least amount of cutting which should be attempted.

Willard the Wolf of Wall Street would scoff at Mitty Mouse’s timid 20% of GDP cap.

So, what to make of Mitt Romney and his bi-lycanthropism?

I believe it points to a man without an ideological center. A man who is restricted by the “old boy’s book of rules” whatever they are and wherever they’re made.

Further, he is a man who needs a “reward”, a brass ring, a trophy to show that he has accomplished something.

At Bain, his brass ring was simply a vast amounts of money he made. The money proved his success in the world of business.

As Governor of Massachusetts, his trophy was Romneycare. Romneycare represents a tangible “getting to Yes” and monument to Mitty Mouse’s time in the public sector.

That’s why Mitt Romney absolutely cannot disown Romneycare. There’s no way Mitty Mouse is giving away his lump of achievement cheese.

What does this all mean?

Well, it basically means that Mitt Romney would be an excellent Vice-President.

Any Republican President would be foolish not to use the talents of Willard the Wolf of Wall Street to cut the reach and scope of government. Simply set the goal and let him loose.

The trophy in this case for Mitt Romney would be a clear and unobstructed shot at the Presidency by proving his bona fides to the Conservative base by clear decisive Conservative action.

Because Willard the Wolf deserves to be President.

Should we be forced to run with Romney as the Republican Presidential candidate it will be very important to win as many seats in the House and Senate as possible for Conservatives.

Because, Mitty Mouse will definitely need to be kept away from the cheese laid out by Democrat Fat Cats.

Lastly, this is why Ronald Reagan was not just great President but a great man: he didn’t need a trophy.

He was happy to restore power and choice to the American people. He made the federal government as insignificant to our lives and the economic recovery as he possibly could.

Reagan didn’t worry whether some huge government program bore his name ala FDR or LBJ.

This is why Obama has been such a failure and revealed himself to be such a small man.

He too, must have a trophy. This is why he pushed so hard for Obamacare despite the damage it would do the economy.

The next President needs to be a man of accomplishment, a man comfortable enough with himself to worry about the future of this country first rather than how many big government programs he can father.

Willard the Wolf of Wall Street has it in him to be a great man as well as a great President.

Mitty Mouse, never.

UPDATE: Well, it’s always good to have your analysis confirmed by an expert no less than Newt Gingrich.

Here’s a monologue from Rush’s show today bemoaning the fact that Gingrich is attacking Bain and the principles of capitalism in a kamikaze attack to take out Romney.

See? Newt is going after Romney’s greatest strength. His Willard the Wolf persona in the private sector.

Notice that Newt’s not particularly going after Mitty Mouse’s record because it’s a mind-numbingly obvious failure for those of us on the right. No Republican is going to vote for Mitt Romney because of his “accomplishments” while Governor of Massachusetts.

As I’ve said above, I’m very disappointed in both Gingrich and Perry for choosing this line of attack. But, Romney brought it on himself with his scorched earth attacks on both Gingrich and Perry. So, turnabout’s fair play.

However, this represents a great opportunity for Romney to practice for the campaign in the Fall should he be the nominee.

He needs to embrace Willard the Wolf of Wall Street.

If Romney can’t make a case for his time at Bain, if he can’t contrast the looting of the American people by Obama and the giving of the taxpayers money to a microscopically small number of Democrat cronies and fat cats with the creative destruction of capitalism, well…

He might as well drop out now.

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