As everyone knows, President Obama is the personification of class.
The elegance and charm the Obamas bring to the White House is due, in large part, to the deep and classy respect that Barack Obama holds for his wife, Michelle.
And nothing says class and respect for your wife more than making her the public butt of an off-color sexual joke-
Like President Obama did last night at a Gay Fundraiser in Beverly Hills:
Before launching into his serious remarks, the president seemed briefly caught off-stride when the audience interpreted as off-color a joke he made about a push-up competition between DeGeneres and his wife, initiated by the talk show host in February.
DeGeneres, Obama said, is “a great friend who accepts a little bit of teasing about Michelle beating her in push-ups. I think she claims Michelle didn’t go all the way down.“
The audience began to chuckle and then erupt in bawdy laughter. Obama kept a straight face. “That’s what I heard,” he added. “I just want to set the record straight. Michelle outdoes me in push-ups as well. You shouldn’t feel bad.”
HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!! It’s funny because the President is implying that his wife, Michelle, the mother of his children, is an incompetent, or perhaps reluctant lesbian.
Tee-hee!
Classy and witty, it’s like having Noel Coward for President or something.
After drinking six mescaline-coladas, we here at naturalfake International News have been privileged to catch other examples of President Obama’s classy wit and jokes demonstrating his deep and abiding respect for Michelle.
Please enjoy.
The first joke comes from President Obama’s eulogy for Senator Ted Kennedy:
President Obama:
Hey, it’s great to be here at the funeral of the late great Senator Ted Kennedy.
You know, everybody knows what a great politician Ted was. But not many people know what a philanthropist, what a giver Senator Kennedy was.
Giving of himself…giving all the time. The man was a giver.
Why, the first time Michelle and I met Ted, he took Michelle aside and gave her a pearl necklace.
A real nice one…
Nice and shiny.
(Deadpan)
That’s what I heard.
I don’t know-
She wiped it off before she got back to me.
Thank you!….Thank you very much!
My, that was classy. And respectful too. Not like those evil Republicans and their War Against Women.
Our second example of President Obama’s wit is a joke he uses often while campaigning in Pennsylvania:
President Obama:
Hey, it’s great to be here in Pennsylvania. I love Pennsylvania.
You know, it’s funny. As many times as Michelle and I have been here in Pennsylvania, we’ve never been to Hershey…you know the chocolate place. Home of Hershey candy bars, hershey kisses…Love to go there sometime. But, you know-
(pause)
Every time I start to drive down the Hershey Highway, Michelle stops me. That’s right, for some reason she won’t let me go down the Hershey Highway. She’s afraid or something. Afraid the road’s too narrow for my big ole car, I guess.
(beat)
One time I almost got there though. Almost. I got Michelle real drunk on Appletinis in Philadelphia and when she passed out I decided this was my chance. Yeah. So, I started down the Hershey Highway- finally. Yeah, I know. Went real slow so she wouldn’t wake up.
I got about halfway there and, wouldn’t you know it, she woke up. Made me go back…
Boy, was she mad. I shoulda been the one upset though.
That Hershey Highway was a mess. Got mud all over the front of my car.
Lotta corn on the road too for some reason.
Rough drive, you know.
Had to clean my car up…polish it.
Polished it a lot.
And I didn’t even get to go all the way down the Hershey highway!
Thank you…thank you very much!
Well, I’m willing to bet Mitt Romney couldn’t tell a joke half as classy, witty, and respectful toward Ann as that one was toward Michelle.
Advantage, Obama!
Perhaps you’ve heard our President tell other classy jokes regarding Michelle, please share them with us in the comments.
Well, when Mooshell was in Egypt, one of the imams allowed her to ride his personal camel for a souvenir photograph. But the poor animal must have had an unusually large anus, because the locals kept pointing and saying , Look at the big asshole on that camel.
Yeah, not that great – I used to have dozens of them but they tend to slip away after a year or two of non-use. Kind of like Mooshell’s Size Medium strapon.
Oh, another one came back.
Being interviewed by the ET slobbering idol worshipers, a blonde airhead reporter breathlessly asked if Obongo’s and Mooshell’s romantic life had changed since they were married.
“Hmmm…” he said sagely, ‘ well, I no longer have to give her fifty dollars and call her a taxi before I doze off.”
Which reminds me, of course, of the time my cousin met her, years ago, She was approaching guys in the Greyhound Bus terminal men’s room, selling blowjobs to raise funds for Barry Soetero.. She asked my cousin if he wanted a good ten dollar BJ, but he declined after looking at her scary, wookie features and the stains and spatters on her clothing.
“Listen!” she angrily said, ” Do you have any idea who my husband is? He’s about to become a Senator, and if we work hard and kiss the right asses, then someday he will be the president! And THEN you’ll be sorry!”
“Why will I be sorry?” asked my cuz.
“Because then I’ll go up to TWENTY bucks per BJ!”