President Obama Accepts Nobel “Peacemaker!” Brand

The why behind President Obama’s unexpected winning of the Nobel Peace Prize is pretty obvious if you think about it for a minute.

I’ll give you a hint:
Yep, pardner, it’s brandin’ time round the ole Nobel ranch. Ole Thorbjom and the girls are gonna brand that purdy little calf Obama with their big ole “PEACEMAKER!” brand right on his forehead.

Yessiree bob, this’s one President they’re gonna keep fenced in. No wanderin’ off the ranch for him.

This is a not so subtle attempt to influence future U.S. foreign policy.

Specifically, Iraq, Iran, and Afghanistan in the short term.

Should President Obama decide to pursue victory in Afghanistan, he’ll be told “No, you can’t do that. Why, you’re the PEACEMAKER! And the PEACEMAKER! pursues peace.”

Long term?

Should we suffer another terrorist attack like 911? He’ll be told “Don’t seek revenge. Don’t counterattack. Don’t pursue American interests. That’s what that evil warmonger, George W Bush did. You got the Nobel Peace Prize for a reason, Obama. You’re the PEACEMAKER! You can’t start a war.”

It says a lot about the disdain that world’s leaders hold for Obama that they would even consider such a cheap, obvious bribe. This is the kind of gambit that would only work on a weak-willed, indecisive narcissist.

But apparently, they read our President well. Very well indeed.

In fact, President Obama seems positively thrilled to receive their brand:

However, I believe he’ll come to see this Nobel Peace Prize, this PEACEMAKER! branding as a curse, as an unwanted claim on his attention and allegiance when he needs to act quickly and decisively in America’s national security interest.

One response to “President Obama Accepts Nobel “Peacemaker!” Brand

  1. Surely you must think Obama deserves to join the ranks of Lech Walesa, Elie Wiesel and Desmond Tutu….I mean really now, don’t you think his nine month tenure in the White House is as important as these guys years of work put together?????
    (just kidding…I seriously thought it was a joke when I first heard)
    I think you are 100% right on, natural fake, with the whole branding thing.

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